Meeting goals and not knowing what the heck day it is

Hello all,
Between the time I wrote last and today, some great summer-esque things have taken place!

Great summer treats:

-Cornhole with the Martinez clan

-Continuing my awesome super human workout plan by the lovely {and overall winner of EVERYONE in the bikini division of her latest competition- hello people, she knows what she is doing! How excited I am for her and for me!} Katie Ringley

-motorcycle riding{zoom zoom}

- Electric Run with my Roommates and my sweetest student in the world! The cool thing about the run was that I had never run a 5k before-- and {honestly} had never run 3 miles without at least stopping to walk for a few minutes. I did it! Brooke and I finished our 3 miles in a little under 30 minutes, and coming from a girl who would walk my entire mile and just take the grade deduction in gym class- I have to say it was another push to compete and do something else I had never accomplished!
{picture time}

-Vans Warped Tour with Holly was a cultural experience to say the very least. I really enjoyed myself, because any type of music is a treat to hear, but I also found myself wanting to yell at the mass of sweaty half naked people, "PLEASE tell me you are contributing something to society because you all look a hot mess!!" We also got very burnt.

I finally had my gallbladder surgery last Wednesday and have honestly had a harder time than I ever expected. I was thinking it would be a procedure with a pain scale between my ear surgeries and my tonsils being taken out- Lord help was I wrong. I really {can't even} tell you what's happened since Wednesday, besides the pain and the {FREAKING OUT} at the fact that I can almost physically see my muscles deflating. It's been hard, y'all. The constant sleeping and laying around is not my life style, and I am about to go {nuts}. Being in pain or completely drugged up and eating like one celery stick with PB and being full is getting old.

{Total transparency here--} They pumped air into my stomach to move every little organ around in order to get to my gallbladder, and my abdomen is { NOT FLAT}. It's not a bulging mass that I know my mind sees it as, but it is {SO discouraging} when you work your ass off and something beyond your control screws with that. At this point I can sit up without crying or feeling air moving around in there, which is a huge plus. It hurts to walk, and I get super dizzy easily. Yesterday, we went for a walk at the lake so there's a start.

Anyways lovelies, it's super easy to let set backs make you {crazy.} I have had plenty of totally vain pity parties-{Stupid}-I know, because the air really isn't making that much of a difference!!

Thanks to all of you who let me know you were thinking about me before and after my surgery, and to your thoughts as I lamely recover! {recover is such a dramatic word-blah.}

 I'll just try to enjoy all this movie watching and bust it as soon as I can get back into the gym. Have a fabulous Sunday, everyone. :)

Gallbladders looks like eggplants {and other summer thoughts}

So, today I wore makeup and straightened my hair for the first time in like...weeks. I'm proud that I had even that much motivation for self preservation.

Score! {Hello little teeny shoulder muscle peeking through there}

I had lunch and a major HAPPINESS ATTACK when my bff and I went to lunch here: 

                   Organic Marketplace and Sprouts Market

{That says bitch...hehe}

I'm talking an organic and health foodie's dream come true. 

{Notice the Larry Beans coffee and new protein to try-mmm!)

We then went to a cycle store and I got a {Surprise!} for Michael because y'all wouldn't even believe how great he is to me, and he deserves some happiness when he does so much for everyone around him. 

A trip to Hobby Lobby prepared us for the Electric Run on Friday at the Charlotte Motor Speedway, and the teacher store had some {adorable} chevron things that my kids are going to have to live with this year! 

Now for competition news: I have to get my gallbladder out because there are stationary stones in that little eggplant looking thing. Some days I'm fine with eating my 6 meals, and some days I eat egg whites in the morning and I'm writhing around on the floor because I'm in so much pain...{what the heck.} 

{The surgeon says I can't lift anything over 10 lbs. for 4-6 weeks after my sugery....}

So, next Wednesday, I'm getting this thing taken out and, if you know me {at all} I CAN NOT EVEN DEAL WITH ANYTHING MEDICAL. Like, at all. no. I can't. So I'm reading this post surgery instruction sheet and I want to {VOM} when I read, "If your incisions start to seep or puss you may...blah blah..." I stopped reading because I was quite woozy. Lord help. 

In talking to my {super woman} trainer, Katie Ringley, I am still confident in the fact that I will be able to compete in October! Woop! If for some really odd and unforeseeable reason I can't compete in October, I'm researching more competitions this year. {So that's a win, no matter what!} 

Off to go make tutu's, make a gym trip, and get to Zoe's coffee shop for Open Mic night with the roomies. {Happy Wednesday} 

"I get a little bit bigger but then I admit I'm just the same as I was..."

So, every time I hear that one line in Imagine Dragons' song, I first think of him:

{He sang it beautifully on Glee, for all of you not in the know}

And then I think of this: 

{Durp duh durp} 

Why do I think of myself awkwardly standing to the side in a gross selfie pose with toothpaste stains running up our mirror? Because, lovely ones, I feel like I make such great bounds and progress and then I look in the mirror...and I am like- eh. Maybe? {Also, I've been taking all angled side pics since BEFORE Insanity...the world just isn't ready to see that progression yet}  

Now don't get me wrong- I'm completely aware that this has only been day {TWO} of training, but I've been lifting for about two years and have almost only maintained the weight I lost when I first lost my {28 LBS!} from Insanity. {Don't get me wrong- While Michael is coaching me during the school year I saw great progress, but we also enjoy the late night foodie run so...} 

{Freaking yum}

 Today was leg day- a day I {used to} pride myself on. The reason I chose to write today is to tell you- You're not alone if you ever feel super awkward sometimes at the gym and there are days that feel like you're working towards something that may never come to fruition. For the past two days, that's been {me.} 

Yesterday, during a superset with alternating chest presses and push ups, I realized at the end of my last set of pushups that I was not going to make it. As in, I wasn't going to make it off of the ground. That's right, friends, I laid on the ground for an awkward 5 seconds before visibly shaking and pulling at my bench to lift myself. { Out of all the times these tools I don't even know want to give me help, no one paid attention to the obviously struggling girl...} 

Today- I didn't fall over or cry or anything, I just realized-- This is hard. What I had been doing on my own this summer is nothing compared to what's in store for me...and that's ok! So, anyways, just know that any type of {new} work out plan is going to pretty much kick your ass..and that's ok too. Just praise your lucky stars you have awhile before you work that part of your body again... and it's ok to use both hands to hold up your water bottle after chest day, or take a whole 2 minutes while steadying yourself on the walls around you in order to sit on the toilet after leg day. That means you're doing work friends. Press on.

In other news, I drank my protein shake on the way to my parent's house after the gym. It's only about an hour away so I was like, Nah I'll wait to use the bathroom.

{Cue getting lost for 30 minutes around Lake James while my eyes started watering from the need to pee and ending up in Burke county instead of McDowell, thereby taking a huge U-Turn and a sprint to an abandoned porta-john at a {SKETCH} gas station instead of using that protein shake bottle I started to uncap in the case of no toilets in the area}

Also this happened today:

{Wedding jar prep with sister/bride-to-be}

And then my youngest sister called saying her friends backed out of Warped Tour at the end of the month, and I was like- no one does that to her! so now I'm going to a place like this: 

 

And I like this kind of thing: 

So...I'm feeling a bit like this: 

Good thing I've been lifting, right?

"No (wo)man is an island" {unless she eats a whole pizza on her own. That's definitely island status}

It really sucks to do things on your own. {For me, at least.}

I am definitely a people person, and although I {adore} days by myself where good books are involved, I would much rather be with friends or family, even if it means sitting around just looking at each other {or, as we've gotten older, everyone in the same room but on their own mac-something or another.}

As my first post explained, I've struggled with my "mind weight" {OMG, You're only 5' 2'', if only my legs were longer, blah blah blah}my whole life. It's hard to get out of your own head and allow people to help you, even when you ARE a people person. I think it's the stubborn and prideful side of me. For example, I never wanted a "workout buddy", simply because I thought that little of myself! I didn't WANT anyone "watching" me run {like I'm really that interesting?}

{My sister once compared my running to an infant waddling in a dirty diaper...for real though}

Anyways, I like to be {The BEST} at whatever I do, so it was hard for me to workout and play pick up games with friends because I didn't want anyone to catch onto the fact that I'm not that naturally athletically inclined.

Enter this guy.

{Michael, everyone. Everyone, Batman?} 

Among all the other beautiful things he is to me, I would feel like a fake continuing in this blog adventure without giving him a huge shout out in the fitness category.  {Like, for real y'all, this guy is the REASON I am where I am today.} 

Once I realized this man had the same want to better himself that I did {plus the motivation to back it up, which I greatly lacked} I began to realize that I totally didn't care that Michael saw me drenched, stinky {I'm talking STANK}, and lumbering around his apartment while we both attempted our first round of Insanity about a year and a half ago. {Me? Doing Insanity? Cue the thought that it's super hard to do this on your own and someone else's motivation can be your start!}

{motivation at its finest}

As we continued in Insanity, we also joined a gym. I am thankful that he FORCED me off the silly treadmill where all the other girls naturally place themselves while their boys are lifting, and it became habit for me to follow him around the gym, mimicking whatever he lifted. {With his help, of course. My form was laughable at the beginning.}  

When I say YOU can lift weights because I can, I {MEAN IT.} Poor Michael, he literally spent 3587534x the amount of effort and time at the gym to help me simply lift the weights correctly than he would have had to if he had gone by himself. I'm saying, I didn't even understand how to HOLD the weights in my HANDS when we first started. I would whine, cry, and holler at him, telling him I couldn't hold up whatever {very reasonable} weights he placed on me instead of just DOING the reps. {Like... this happened in public at the gym, and the guy stuck around. Impressive on many levels.}

All of this to say, if you can FIND that person that you feel the most comfortable with and they want to better themselves as much as it is important to you {plus it helps if you like each other a little bit}... then grab on tight and allow yourselves to {learn}, {support}, and {motivate} one another. 

The Long {and kind of short} of It

So here's the deal, everyone. I'm short. I have gone from being "plump" {gross-that word..I can't deal} to "curvy" to "normal but really I still feel way overweight" my entire life. Mentally, though, I have battled with the WANT to be better, do better, look better.

                                                              Who doesn't? 

I have been blessed enough by circumstances and support to never resort to anything damaging in order to lose weight, but the stress and mental punishing I've given myself for being {LAZY} and {HUNGRY ALL THE TIME} has been a bit ridiculous. 

So what's the point Alisha?

This blog is just a record for myself and whoever finds it interesting of my journey to an NPC Bikini competition. {For all of you who are like "say whaaa?" it's a body building competition.}  YAY ok so here's the story so far:

                                                               LIFE: 

Like any good '90's family, my mom and dad would lovingly dress us in mix match obnoxiously colored tees and biker shorts and push us outside for the majority of our days, forcing us to create and imagine, explore and play, discover and be ACTIVE! Although we always seemed to be outside doing something or another, I got chubby- fast. 

As you can tell, I've always enjoyed the art of eating: 

BUT! I did love to dance:

However, I took my food very seriously: 

{I mean look at that face. I was in cookie destruction mode}

All joking aside, I was active. My body type just stopped rising vertically and because I grew up in a home of arts, music, and all things literary, sports were just something you half assed when you had to, or when you signed up for dance class that was just {fun!} 

Fast forward a few years and a few moves later, I had a loving close knit family who just loved {me.} I had friends who loved {me} and so I never thought to actively take care of myself and honestly, as a young girl I believe that's how it SHOULD BE. I loved myself, I thought I was pretty, and I had the very best friends a young girl could ask for because I am {SO BLESSED.} 

High school.{God help me say this and be honest.} At my thickest I was 145 at 5' 2" {Cringe, yall. Moving on.} Fluctuating weight  for 4 years was never healthy and here comes the frustration and the {hating} on myself for my food choices.

{Senior portrait} 

College? Holy geez. On campus restaurants + beer + late night eating + wine +ALL THE TIME= we were all a little fat and happy. 

Needless to say,  I graduated and was tossed into "adult world", realizing that I was {tired} of being {frustrated} at something I COULD CONTROL.  Why would I moan and groan about those extra lbs. when I was the one not making the effort? 

Err...Hello Alisha, wake up. You've always been this glamorous belle in your head so now it's time to go get it. 

I've had TONS of help {already!!} and my training doesn't even technically start until Saturday! Those people and thoughts are for another day, however, because this post is already embarrassingly long.

I'll be logging my workouts, meals, and thoughts as I go and I'm quite excited, so tah tah for now lovely ones. 

{Alisha}